We married at the start of my hubby’s off-season. Like most newly-weds we spent nearly every minute of every day together. This went on for weeks. While I loved our time together, being a bit of a solitary character, I nonchalantly mentioned one day, “Sooo don’t you have a job or something you need to go to?” Like a kid being let out for recess, he smiled a big smile and dashed off to the airport. I’ve hardly seen him since. Okay that’s an exaggeration. My point is I came to understand that as we go through the big life events, that euphoria is just a starting place. It has to naturally evolve into real life. The event is still great, but we cannot expect to keep on as we did in the beginning. Euphoria, while exhilarating is also exhausting and best kept in short spurts. Real life set in for us, and with it came busyness. It was a gradual infiltration, I didn’t really see it coming but all at once it was there, swooping in and eating up precious time like the big fat joy robber that it is.
I thought of that today. Buying this shop is up there in the top five fabulous life events for me. In the beginning I experienced that euphoric haze. In the first weeks I over thought EVERYTHING from what I would wear to what kind of coffee to brew. I thought through the next day the night before. As an insomniac there was no need to set an alarm I wake early and in those early weeks I never felt tired no matter how much sleep I didn’t get. I knew what I was wearing, which route to the shop was the shortest and I had all appointments responsibly noted in my calendar. Busy-ness is stealthy though, and it quickly over took me. I started forgetting to write down appointments, laundry piled up and my organizational skills came spiraling down. I have been seen talking on my phone while silently mouthing the words “Have you seen my phone?”
Yesterday became the marker for when the euphoria left. I was having a rare leisure morning trying to figure out how to record my exercise on my funny little watch. Don’t laugh there actually was exercise to record. A few short months ago I wouldn’t have dreamed of being distracted by exercise, but things are settling in and I feel like I am starting to get some of life’s normalcy back. The newness has not come close to wearing off, but it feels good to have the store AND the rest of my life to some extent. I’ve started to relax a bit, and this is good. I didn’t feel like I needed to hurry in to work yesterday and then my phone rang. “Did I remember I had an appointment with a rep from Portland at 8:45?” It was 8:40. This was bad. I threw, literally, threw some clothes on, slapped at my eyes with some mascara, blindly slid my feet into a pair of shoes and grabbed another pair in case the ones I was wearing didn’t match. I started the car, threw it into reverse and put the pedal to the metal…so to speak. It is disquieting to expect to move seamlessly backwards only to come to an abrupt halt, accompanied by a loud thud. I tell myself all the time: listen to that voice in your head, not all of them obviously, but that ONE that speaks sense. The one that told me the other day that I shouldn’t park the Pretty in Paint van in this spot in the driveway because I’m not used to cars parked there and sometimes I don’t look behind me…go on judge me if you must, I’m not a very good driver. I smacked the van with a doozy of a bumper crunch. It’s not good when you discover you might be having a bad day and it’s not even nine A.M. It is also not good to try to put that long lasting all day lipstick on while you are hastily driving and never taking your eyes off the road. There really is no margin for error.
As I look forward to the transition from euphoria to everyday life in the shop, I’ve made a pact with myself to get a handle on the busy. I’ve decided it no longer gets to be the joy robber in this life of mine. I made it to yesterday’s meeting only a few minutes late, crooked lips and all. When it was over I saw this sign in the store. I’ve seen it before but today it made me laugh out loud, it says:
Somedays I amaze myself. Other days I look for my phone while talking on it.
What’s robbing your joy and more importantly what will you do about it?